“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe
playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.” Erma Bombeck
I walked into the grocery store yesterday and couldn’t help
but hear the whining and screaming coming from the frozen food section. I peeked around the aisle and saw a screaming child who I will call Zoe for the benefit of our
story. Zoe was around 2 years old and
testing her Mother to the limits. Mom
was giving appropriate choices.
Either walk alongside Mom without running off, or ride in her
stroller. Zoe chose the stroller. Approximately 40 seconds after making that
choice, Zoe was screaming to get out of the stroller and beginning to tantrum. Mom was doing her best to diffuse the
situation which was going from bad to worse. (What makes these stressful situations
even more fun, is the disapproving looks we get from strangers!) A few minutes later, Zoe, now out of the
stroller, was running away from her Mother.
Mom was calm, swift and sure. She
scooped up her daughter and said words to the effect, “You will now ride in the
stroller. It is no longer your choice,”
and proceeded to firmly buckle in her outraged child.
I went over to the mother and told her that I thought she
had handled the situation beautifully, and that I knew how trying and upsetting
these situations could be. (How well I
remember!) This Mom, who seemed so
self-assured and composed, fell apart.
Through her tears she told me that she felt ill equipped to handle her
daughter and felt that she had just done a terrible job. I reassured her that she was indeed doing a
great job and certainly not alone in her self-doubt. We took a deep breath together (mine in
support of her much needed one!) and off she went with Zoe whose screams
continued to radiate from all parts of the store like an all-points bulletin.
I left the store thinking that it doesn’t necessarily have
to take a whole village, but maybe we all do need a little help from our
friends (or a stranger) to acknowledge our strengths, especially at those times
when we would all like to climb into that nice, safe playpen!!
